When you can’t find your running mojo because kids keep getting sick….

The space between our expectations and our reality is a fertile field, and it’s the perfect place to grow a bumper crop of disappointment.” 
~Lysa Terkeurst

Today I’m in survival mode.  Not to sound dramatic but it’s true.  I’ve had sick kids in my house for what feels like an eternity and I just can’t seem to find my stride…..no pun intended.  So, I’ve been working out from home, using my bike on the trainer, using at home workouts and running when I can.

This past Saturday morning I had an early morning run.  It was glorious.   I’ve been running later in the day the past few weeks and have been frustrated at my lack of consistency.  I decided it was because I hadn’t been disciplined in getting up early to run before life had a chance to happen.  I had no idea the next 72 hours would be filled with throw up and laundry and fever’s and dr’s visits and shots.  On Saturday’s run I had decided I was getting back to Saturday and Sunday early morning runs.  Then Sunday I didn’t feel good and our little got sick…really sick.  So, I had to post pone my amazing plan and put off all that new found motivation I had from that one amazing run.

Since the marathon my goal has been to keep my mileage around 10 for my weekend long runs and be as consistent as I can be during the week.  This is proving to be impossible.

Life happens ya know?  It’s easy to set goals and then have some stuff get in the way.  I was scrolling through Instagram seeing everyone’s workouts and long runs and #no excuses.  I somehow began to feel guilt over the fact that I haven’t worked out since Saturday.  That’s 2 days people.  2. days.  Ridiculous.

Sometimes our expectations and our reality are not the same.  This week for example.  My expectation was that I could maintain control over my house, my laundry, my studying, my running and at least working out if I couldn’t get out for a run, my patience with my other two kids, my meal planning and grocery shopping, all while having an extremely sick toddler with a scary high fever who can’t keep anything in.  That was the difference between my expectations of myself and my actual reality.  Sitting on the couch unable to get out of her sight.  That’s where I’ve been since Sunday.  Staying close by with a bowl to catch throw up.  It didn’t match up with my expectations of what I might be able to hang onto while she’s been sick.  It has actually looked like this…

and this…
And do you know what?  It’s ok.  It is totally so extremely ok.  I’m a mommy.  Catching throw up and washing the throw up  nightgown’s and teddy bears is part of the gig.  I wouldn’t want to miss this for anything…not a run, not a more productive day.  Nothing.  I haven’t gotten up at 4am after being up with her all night to run.  I could have.  Instead, I’ve slept because I needed the sleep knowing I’ll run again tomorrow or Thursday or whenever she’s better and my hubby can be home.  Until then, I’ll do what I can and in a few days I’ll get back to this…
It’s easy to get discouraged when our expectations are one thing, and our reality is another.  I’m learning there are times when I make excuses, and then there are times when excuses aren’t excuses at all.  They are actually really good reasons for changing your expectations.  Life happens and sometimes, we need to just let it.  Take off the guilt.  Live in your moment whatever it may be.  You’ve seen what mine has been.  Instead of feeling guilt that I didn’t blog yesterday or run today or clean the dishes out of the sink, I’m going to let myself off the hook.  How bout you??

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