So I had great plans for a big post and giveaway today to celebrate the blog’s two year anniversary. Instead, I was up all night praying for an answer to a big decision we had to make regarding our house/move and currently have a 3 year old having a massive melt down on my kitchen floor. So, you could say the coffee just isn’t strong enough this morning. Sometimes, plans change.
Adulting is hard. Parenting is hard. Working while adulting and parenting is hard. Making big potentially life changing decisions that not only impact you but your spouse and 3 kids is hard. Feel me? We’re in the middle of some big stuff. It’s easy to blog about running and nutrition and all that jazz, but my heart is just not there right now. It’s on home. And I think that’s good. There are times when the businesses and the noise of social media can cloud what we really need to see and do. Or maybe I’m the only one. Lara Casey wrote a great post on this very subject and it was the last thing I read before I went to sleep last night in tears. How do you juggle it all, adjust to changes in plans, work your way “up” the ladder of success(while guarding against caring TOO much about that stuff but just managing to do a job well done at what you’re doing) and still maintain your sanity and a smidge of quality parenting? I’m not really sure. But I know I totally get where she’s coming from when she refers to being in the mess and not knowing how to juggle it.
Because really, life is GOOD. I mean gooooooooood. Yes, these light and momentary troubles are trivial in the long run. The toddler who is STILL screaming is healthy and well. The house that may or may not sell is warm and has protected us for 7 years from all kinds of weather. It holds food and warm beds and is right down the street from dear friends. The house we may or may not move into is a blessing. The option and choice to purchase a home….a giant blessing that I don’t want to over look. Last week, our buyers backed out. Then, we got some news regarding the home we had planned to purchase that may require us to walk away and start our search again. We’ve discussed moving to another town, still in our area but requiring a school change and total life adjustment. Those decisions are hard to make. I’m invested in my business trying to grow a bootcamp, and have recently ventured in to the world of Beachbody, still unsure as to where I’ll land with that. Our kids are getting bigger, and desperately needing more of our time and attention.
They don’t really care if the beds are made for showings or if the dishes are crammed in the dishwasher or if my post gets kicked out “on time.” They are finishing big years in school and need a momma who cares more about what’s going on in their life right now than my own. It’s not that my stuff isn’t important, it very much is. But, knowing when to step back from it all and take a little breather is something I struggle with. Life gets so noisy and busy. There is much vying for out time, attention, and affections. And sometimes, all our plans change in a day and we have to learn to roll with it. And sometimes that’s hard to do.
This morning my kids want donuts and a movie. So simple. So, today is about them. We’re laying the house down at the feet of Jesus knowing He already knows the home we’re to be in, even if it ends up being the one we’re already in. He knows my passions and gifts, as He knows yours, because He placed them there. He knows what I’m supposed to be doing with my time, even though sometimes it’s a mystery to me. He knows what I’m supposed to pour myself into. He knows what my, and your, family need. He knows it all (and you guys, literally as I type Lila is STILL screaming because some other force has taken over her body the last few days and she is currently dumping snacks all over her face as she screams. What. The. Heck.).
He knows. And it will all be ok. So, wherever you are today, just rest. Take a deep breath. Put aside something you had put pressure on yourself to do for something that provides a little reprieve. Take some pressure off even if just for a moment. Drink an extra cup of coffee, smile when you don’t feel like it and make a choice to embrace the mess, trusting there are great things to learn in the midst of it. And maybe this seemed like rambling, but I can’t help but feel maybe, just maybe, someone reading this may be struggling with the same thing, so I encourage you to dwell on this…
“This is what the Lord says-your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel…’I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow.” Isaiah 48:17