I’m sitting on my bed eating a chocolate chip cookie covered in peanut butter…..no lie, and drinking a very large cup of coffee.
I was up a good portion of the night with Lila, who I’m pretty sure has a nasty ear infection that I’ve been letting her live with for days. I have given her motrin and ear drops, but still. Oops. I’m surrounded by boxes. I haven’t blogged in almost a week(which KILLS me because I LOVE to write. It’s therapeutic. And I love getting to interact with you!! It’s often such a highlight of my day) and I’m scrambling most days to do anything other than get ready for this move.
But here’s the thing.
It’s. a. blessing.
All of it.
Maybe I should repeat the first sentence….I’m sitting on my bed eating a chocolate chip cookie covered in peanut butter and drinking a large cup of coffee. Seriously, what’s to complain about there????
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about seasons. We throw around this term a lot, or at least I do. I feel like it often has a negative connotation or is used as an excuse for not doing something. “Oh, well I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to make it, we’re just in a season right now of……” fill in the blank. I do this all. the. time.
We are definitely in a season. A season of having to step back from A LOT. My husband, Rob, is training for a full Ironman. It’s basically a part-time job on top of his full-time job of long hours and travel. He’s dedicated and committed and so close to the end. We’re beyond proud of him, but it’s a sacrifice on the part of all of us. We miss him. He misses us. And he’s SO close to the end. It’s a decision we made together so he can fulfill something he’s wanted to do for a long time. And we just decided to throw a move on top of it, because we’re geniuses.
We’re moving in less than two weeks and I have a job, several in fact, and 3 kids home for the Summer. I’m in a season of having to give myself grace when I forget a birthday party or to text a friend back(but my friends are pretty much the best friends a girl could ever ask for and have been AMAZING) or when I let my kid live with an ear ache for DAYS because I have “too much to do” to drive the 20 minutes to my pediatrician.
Hang a medal on my neck. Mom of the year.
My point is this. Yes, our family is in a season. A season of stepping back from time with friends and actually folding and putting away laundry(I just toss it in a closet or on my treadmill so I can get to the packing). A season of missed church on Sunday’s and less socializing with people we love. A season of keeping my kids busy so they can have a fun and not totally lame Summer with a distracted mom. A season of slowing down. Being in our house and enjoying it while we can. We walked into this house with a 2 1/2-year-old and a 7 month old. We’ll walk out with a 10, 7 and 4-year-old. That’s how fast it goes. And my gosh I don’t want to miss the good that comes from slowing down and accepting the season we are in.
“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing…. Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.” Ann Voskamp
We’re in a season of EXCITEMENT. A season of change……good change. A season of blessings. A season of good health. A season of hope for our future in the new home. My aim is for this house to be a haven, not just for us but for other’s as well. We love to open our front door. We want people in our home, because a home is for gathering. Because things are in a bit of disarray, we haven’t been doing as much of that as we’d like. So, we’re in a season of anticipation as we look forward to being able to welcome people in once we’re settled. A season of dependence on God’s ability to give me patience and grace and focus, as none of these are coming naturally right now. A season of accepting help from others, which I don’t always do well.
A season doesn’t have to be bad.
I’m not in a running season. I’m running enough to get by and doing different types of workouts, but running isn’t my priority right now. I’m not blogging as much as I’d love to. I’m not able to take on as many clients as I’d like. I’m not able to study for any additional certifications. I’m not racing or logging tons of mile on the road. I’m not having coffee with friends. But it’s ok. It’s totally and completely o.k.
I’m trying to change my perspective on seasons. To be thankful. Because right now we really have nothing to complain about…like at all. Yes, it’s busy. Yes, it’s a little stressful. Yes, the things we have right in front of us are requiring some sacrifice in other areas, but really, it’s ok.
I don’t want to be a complainer. I know moving is stressful. I’ll call that what it is. I don’t feel as though I’m not allowed to feel stress over things, even if they are somewhat trivial. However, I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to miss the blessings that come through the good but that also come through the tough.
“I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep.” Ann Voskamp
Because different seasons bring different blessings, and different challenges. The blessings keep us thankful, and the challenges keep us dependent on Christ, the very one who allows our seasons and life circumstances. We can gain so much from appreciating and accepting both sides to a season.
Many of you know my dad is in the final stages of a debilitating and ugly disease. It’s taken everything from him that the world would say is valuable and worth living for. But, over and over throughout the years I have seen my dad pray, laugh, accept, and live. I’ve seen him give thanks even in the midst of circumstances most of us wouldn’t be able to bear even the thought of having to live through. And here is my dad, giving thanks. And that is enough to drop me to my knees in gratitude and humility for any season of life, regardless of what it might hold.
So let’s be thankful. Let’s embrace our seasons with all their crazy and appreciate the blessings in them, even if they don’t look like blessings. Let’s allow ourselves to be molded and changed and transformed through all our struggles and come out the other side changed. Let’s shout thanks from the rooftops to a complaining world and let them see that season’s aren’t always bad, and that there is always hope for wherever you are. And that it’s possible to slow down, enjoy your now, and be thankful.
“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust.” Ann Voskamp