So I’ve sort of been at a loss for things to say this week. Shocking I know. Usually I think in blog post topics and I struggle to shut off my brain. But this week, I needed a mental time out. Like I wanted to be home not thinking of anything. I’m sort of in a season of reflection. Of change. Of switching things up. Of being more present. And so I’m talking a lot about the things I’m learning and being stripped of. The stuff I need more of and the stuff that just has to go. In the midst of all of this change, I’m seeing something that we lack in our family sometimes.
I realized some time ago that I was rushing through everything. And I have no idea why. The kids bedtime for me was a formality. Something to get past so I could sit down. I guess this is a product of just pushing too hard and not allowing enough rest, but for some reason I wasn’t really slowing down enough to enjoy anything. I used to take my time but with 3, it now has the potential to take 4 years to get them all to bed, so I started rushing it.
I think we all have that tendency don’t we? We live in world of faster, bigger, better, more. We’re applauded for working harder, climbing higher, and filling our plates. We’re praised for giving all we have. Women especially are esteemed for being able to “do it all.” If we can tackle all the things, we get all the recognition. But what if we’re sacrificing something, or somethingS in the process? For me, one of those things was fun. Laughing. Enjoying conversation with my kids and my husband. Enjoying my friends.
Fun sorta got lost. And I’m realizing how much fun I have just sitting on the couch with the kids while we watch a movie…provided they aren’t farting or kicking each other…or me…in the face. I forgot how nice it is to curl up in their beds at night and ask about their days, to have deep and meaningful, or silly and completely pointless, conversations with them.
Rob is one of the funniest people on the planet. He’s been making me laugh since I was 15. Thing is, we have to slow down and take time out together in order to enjoy these hilarious moments. To go on dates. To joke and laugh and not take ourselves…..or life…..too seriously. Because who wants to walk around looking miserable all the time, just simply because you forgot to have fun?
I know it may sound silly, but one of my biggest fears is that my kids will grow up and not look back on a fun childhood. And I don’t mean like I provide a fun house ALL THE TIME. I just mean that we are ABLE to laugh and joke and enjoy our family years. Because I know before we blink again, they’ll be gone. I want us to relax and let our hair down and enjoy the simple things and the moments we have together. It’s funny because I’ve always been super laid back and relaxed but somehow adulthood got the best of me this past year. And I lost some of my fun and easy-going self to stress and a busy schedule and a need for rest. So much so that I rushed my kids off to bed every night with a clenched jaw and a headache.
So, lately, it’s been about slowing down. Making jokes with my kids and looking them in the eye when they talk to me. Planning some trips and being more intentional to block off our weekends for family time. To do giant cannon balls in the pool and cart-wheels down the sidewalk. They didn’t think I could do it, but I can. I came up dizzy and a little ready to puke, but man I can still do a one-handed round off with the best of the 2nd graders. Because life is really fun, and I think we should treat it as such.
We can laugh and be silly. We can twirl and play and skip and jump and show our kids that we’re human and not entirely wrapped up in the pace of our lives. We can choose to slow down. To lessen. To indulge and savor and enjoy. Laughing feels good. Taking time for true rest feels good. And it has transformed our home. I still have a lot of work to do. I’m learning. It’s hard. You lose things when you choose to start saying no and cutting back, when you create stronger boundaries to protect the things that matter most, but what I’m gaining is so much better.
Holding onto the relationships that are real. Finding the fun side of our marriage, which has always been our jam. Hearing my kids and learning about their days and teachers and what they are learning. All things I wouldn’t get if I kept a breakneck speed. So more fun. That’s my goal. More laugh til you cry or pee a little moments(if you’ve had babies then just yes on this one). More dance parties and movie nights.
Let’s not be lame parents. Let’s be fun ones. Let’s make memories with our kids. Let’s create relationships with them that are deep and long lasting, because we can laugh together. I’m not saying let them do all the things or flood the bathroom all in the name of fun. I’m not saying that we have to create a fun environment all the time. Because life won’t always be fun. It gets hard and tricky sometimes, and they need to learn the hard things. BUT, we can have an attitude of fun. Of knowing when to relax and enjoy them, and to make lemonade from some of life’s lemons. I got that part from This Is Us by the way. Did ya’ll watch that premiere Tuesday night?!?! IT IS SO GOOD. Total side note.
Let’s give them things to look back on with fondness and joy, because life’s too short to be too busy for fun. And I sure want the fun to last a while.