Coming uncomfortably close to your fears is not a fun place to be.  Lately as I’ve been reading about fears, and as I’ve become increasingly more aware of the things happening around the world, I’ve realized that I’ve been living blissfully unaware.  Admittedly, I don’t watch the news.  It’s depressing and sad to be totally honest with you.  I thought I was doing myself a favor, but truly, it’s a disservice. I’m realizing that underneath all my avoidance, is fear.  Fear that I’ll feel guilt or shame (for an amazing perspective on this..check out this post) for the life I’m living while people, including children, are being murdered for their faith.  While I get this thing called freedom…..

Fear that something may eventually happen to my husband, my kids, to me.  Fear of my feelings of inadequecy.  Fear of being found out.  Fear of rejection.  Feeling like I don’t deserve what I have.  Fear of facing criticism for what I believe.  Sensing a theme?  I’ve been reading a book called “What Women Fear” by Angie Smith.  I almost shoved it aside.  I’ve never considered myself a fearful or anxious person.  Laid back.  Go with the flow.  These are the terms I’ve always used to describe myself.  But never really fearful.  I’m realizing that I have many fears buried deep inside that I never acknowledged because I never bothered to look for them.  Blissfully unaware.

With everything going on in Iraq and other parts of the world, I’m finding my blissful ignorance to be unacceptable.  I feel ashamed that I’ve allowed fear to control me without even knowing it.  If I’m afraid of the world and the things happening in it then how can I be affective?  How can I live my life to it’s very fullest if I’m afraid?  How can I make a difference in this life if I refuse to acknowledge the things that make me the MOST uncomfortable.

It’s time to be brave.  I feel as though I am being shaken awake.  It’s time to put on my big girl panties.  It’s time to pray.  Hard.  It’s time to act.  It’s time to open my eyes so that the fear can be cast aside and I can truly live.  I can’t ignore my own fears.  I can’t ignore what’s happening in the world simply because it scares me.  And I know this truth.  That I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-discipline(2 Timothy 1:7).

Yes, I know this is a running blog.  So where on earth did all this come from?  It’s life.  It would be impossible for me to use this blog to communicate with you if I didn’t occasionally talk about life apart from running and fitness.  It’s our lives, our world and our struggles.  And they are all very real.  But, I’m not writing this in discouragement but rather with the hope and assurance that I can live a life free of the chains of fear.  That I, that we, can make a difference and start living a life that matters.

So today, I’m not going to live in my fears, but in my freedoms.  I’m going to enjoy my kids, the food on my table, the breath I get to take.  I’m not going to live in guilt but I’m not going to live in ignorance either.  I will do what I can to make a difference.  I’ll choose to be thankful, to be kind and compassionate and encouraging.  If for now, all I can do is get on my knees and pray for the situations happening all around us, then that’s what I’ll do.  Don’t allow fear to control your existence.  Fear is suffocating.  Maybe you are like me, hiding from the world, from tragedy, from pain and sadness and things that are uncomfortable.  Please be encouraged friend.  Call those fears by name and deal with them.  It’s so much more freeing than living in a bubble.

“Drink deep of the faithfulness of God in the hopes that the next time you face insurmountable odds, you won’t cower in fear.  You will learn to keep your eyes open to what God is doing.” ~ Angie Smith

4 comments on “Fears

  1. Good stuff. Have you heard if The Skimm? It’s pretty good and easier to digest than a full blown newsboadcast.
    Thanks for sharing what many of us feel too, and encouraging to acknowledge!

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