I’ve never considered myself a particularly courageous person. It’s funny, my name means brave. I would say I’m independent, laid back, easy going, social. I’m not necessarily afraid of a lot of things but I’m not much of a risk taker. Until now. I want to experience life and use my gifts without hiding or shame or fear of failing. One of my very favorite books is called “Unbroken.” If you haven’t read it go buy it now. It was just one of those books you never forget. In short it is based on the life of Louie Zamperini. He was an olympic runner in the midst of the second world war. It is the story of his life, bravery, courage, stamina, will to live and how he fought against some insurmountable odds. His life was inspiring to me.
If I’m being completely honest here, which I try to be with ya’ll, I was afraid of what other people would think. “Oh, she’s the girl who only likes to workout or all she cares about is exercise or how she looks.” I know this seems silly but this was a legitimate fear of mine. Until this past April. I remember the moment vividly. I was driving to the gym after dropping Josh, my pre-ker at the time, off at school. I was on the phone with my sister having a deep talk about life, the books we were reading, lessons we were learning. We have these talks a lot. She mentioned that becoming a trainer may be something she would want to do down the road and it stopped me in my tracks…..figuratively of course. I was driving a car.
I said, “hey that’s what I want to do too!” And that was it. I couldn’t shake it. It was like God was screaming from the heavens to stop being afraid and go do something He intended for me to do. Not that I wasn’t already. I was, and still am, being a wife and mommy. My most valued and prized calling. However, I knew that I had, out of pure fear, shoved down something else that had the potential to be great. I was afraid of what it would cost me so I just said no over and over again when that little nudge in my spirit would start pressing. I was tired of saying no.
I’m a yes person, I love to say yes. I’m a pleaser. Saying no doesn’t come naturally to me when people ask me to do things. However, I am in a season where, because I have said yes to such a big thing, I’m having to say no to a lot of other really good, even great, things. I’ve said that today is the day I order all my materials for my NASM exam. I have 6 months to complete my studying and take this exam. Over the past 6 months, through my husband, books I have read, this blog, amazing and dear friends who know me well, this pursuit has been confirmed over and over again. I simply can’t not do it.
“A lot of courageous noes make for some beautifully brave yeses.”
I’m reading a book(well several but one of my favorites at the moment) called “Let’s All Be Brave.” It’s by a gal named Annie. F. Downs. I’ve read so many books this year and they all seem to meet me right where I am. Does that happen to you? Right now she is talking about the brave yeses we sometimes need to make. Yeses are almost always accompanied by some equally brave noes. I’ve said a big daring yes to becoming a personal trainer. I’m deeply passionate about people and relationships. Why not build those while doing something I love? Why. Not. Ya’ll….this is big. It is coming with some major noes…which I stink at. It is all self study, I have 3 kids, two in elementary school, sports, a marathon to train for, a blog to invest in. You get it right? We’re all busy.
However, the yes, the obedience to do what I feel I’m being called to do, is worth the noes I have to say for this season. I’m excited! I can’t wait to see what happens down the road after this process is complete and I’m ready for the work and the long hours and the sacrifice. It’s a new season, a new chapter, and a new yes on the table. I want to be brave. I want to trust my great big God who threw the stars to the sky and makes the moon glow. If He’s big enough for that, then I know I can trust Him. I’m leaping out of what is comfortable for me knowing it my not be easy, or come without sacrifice. I may fail. I. May. Fail. I’m not promised raging success through this process. But, I want to be courageous by stepping out, by being brave.